In an instant, we go from a happy child running around, taking rides in the laundry basket and putting everything she can get her hands on into the trash can, to our poor one-armed little girl. Last week was sheer insanity - after having spent the majority of Saturday watching her throw up and get weaker and weaker and calling the doctor every 2 hours to make sure we still shouldn't take her in to the ER, I spent Sunday evening understanding her illness in a way that only someone else who has it can. Lying on the floor in my bathroom watching the room spin and wishing I could just pass out because it would feel so much less painful while students happily talked about the next house trip in my living room......and after a night of throwing up every hour or so, Tim started in at 5:00 AM on Monday morning!
After a long conversation about which would be safer, biking or driving Nellie to daycare, we decided to go with driving, because that doesn't require as much balance and we were both extremely weak and ill. So we took her up there and were surprised to see 6 kids, instead of the usual 5 - thinking that we should keep an eye on the situation because we'd told our daycare provider when we starting having Nellie with her that we felt like 5 kids was really the max a single person could handle, I teetered my way back to the car and Tim drove me to work. Not an hour later, my coworker burst into our weekly "what have you done" meeting with my boss and said I had to call my daycare immediately - something bad had happened! I ran upstairs and called, and all I could hear was Nellie crying in the background and my daycare provider was hysterical. I got something about her arm, and that was it.
So I literally ran back to my meeting and said, "I have to go. Something bad has happened." And just kept running. I called Tim while biking back to BJ, since he was home busy throwing up, and said, "You can't be sick anymore. Something's happened to Nellie. Put your clothes on, get your car keys and your bike, and meet me at the car!"
And I ran into BJ, got him, then biked frantically down 60th to the parking lot where we'd stashed our car for the day. We screeched up to 50th and Woodlawn, and then literally stopped the car in a bus stop, threw on the flashers and ran into the building. We walked straight into the apartment and took our girl from our daycare provider - her shirt was off and her arm was wrapped in a towel with an icepack, but it was clear that it was broken. Nellie cried and cried, and I just put her head on my shoulder and told her that it would be okay, and let Nicole know that we'd talk to her later and let her know what was going on and how Nellie was. Tim stayed a moment longer just to get a few details, and I just walked down the stairs and to the car as carefully and smoothly as I could, holding Nellie tight and talking to her about how it was all going to be okay. I sat in the bottom of the car holding her as Tim drove slowly with the flashers on to the hospital, and he also managed to get our pediatrician on the phone and she told us to go straight to the DCAM. We got there, tossed the keys at a valet, and went straight to the third floor. The doctors and nurses were all wonderful - everything was very smooth, all the people were careful and thorough and gentle, and there were support people all over making sure we had what we needed. There were even women on each floor we ended up visiting whose job is "support and distract." I want this job - one of them spent an hour in our room in the ER blowing bubbles for Nellie! Her memories of this event feature "more bubbles" prominently! (thank God)
An extremely traumatic xray revealed the obvious, and we were shuttled down to the Peds ER, where they have a dedicated casting room. (Strange - kids break things a lot, you think?) Third most traumatic moment of the day - placing the IV. Tim and I both said to the nurses, "She's really strong!" And they waved us off - "Yes, toddlers do fight these things a lot, don't they?" Not like ours - the two nurses who came weren't enough. Tim held her legs, I held her arms and held her in my lap, and THREE nurses placed the IV. They can't say we didn't warn them....
Second most traumatic moment of the day - they sedated her with ketamine and versed and did a closed reduction using a live xray for placement. The scientific nerd part of me though this was incredibly cool technology, if only I could be watching someone else go through this..... she was sedated but obviously still experienced the setting - I had held her all day, but when she calmed down after the sedation, I got off the bed and put on my lead coat and stood with Tim while the doctors set her arm and put on the initial plaster cast. As they snapped it back in place (a sound I never want to hear again), she looked for me, and said, "mom! Mommy! Ow!" And I just kept talking to her. The sedation was very short, so she was back to struggling within 5 minutes. The doctors were quick and efficient.
Back to our ER room we go, while they waited for the ketamine to wear off and to do a formal set of x-rays to determine if the reduction held after they did the casting. And a visit from the social worker - DCFS is now involved, because it was an unwitnessed fall. Wow. The fallout on this has been extensive - within minutes of us arriving home, we had a DCFS emergency social worker in our house. She had to inspect Nellie for any bruises or marks, and she talked to us about our daycare provider. It was good that we had the opportunity to tell her that we thought she was an excellent mom and that she had taken good care of Nellie, with this being a noteable exception and a terrible accident. We were terrified to hear that one of the possible outcomes of this would be that she would lose her own kids! What a world we live in. DCFS went straight to her house, and apparently she is not able to be with her children or with any others without supervision, and she can't sleep in her home until the investigation is closed. She was optimistic that it would be over last week, but apparently there are still some things going on - I don't have the details. We also had a surprise visit from Special Victims Unit the next day, and she also went over to the daycare after seeing us. I can understand why these things are protocol, but I just hope that things work out and everyone understands this was just an accident. An accident due to some degree of negligence, but an accident nonetheless.
I feel just awful about this whole situation. Tim and I had some concerns about the daycare and the number of kids, but Nellie was so happy there, we knew she was getting good care. She is a sweet little girl and was learning good skills there (please, thank you, sharing...), and the children she was with were also well-behaved and good tempered. She was always relatively clean and definitely well-fed and happy, so we know all her needs were taken care of. But maybe she was not carefully watched, and she's a toddler - she doesn't know limits, and that's why adults watch babies. So we've learned a very important lesson, and we're lucky it was her arm and not something worse.
And I feel awful about our daycare provider and what she is going through. No good mother should have to fear that her children will be taken away. I know she feels terrible guilt about what happened, and putting her through all these extra hoops seems just cruel. We are doing everything we can to make it easier for her. And the children miss Nellie and Nellie misses them. Tim's going with her up to see them today, so hopefully that will be a fun visit for everyone - I wish I could be there!
We're keeping our girl at home for the foreseeable future - this requires us to work insane shifts, but we do this because we love her and we want her to be safe, and we love each other and we know we can get through it! I"m working 5AM-2:00 PM, and Tim's working 12:00 PM - 9:00 PM. And we've found the kindness of students who are willing to listen to the baby monitor for two hours in the middle of the day while she naps. We are very very lucky. And, of course, family who are always willing to come help!!!
Who knows? We may find that this is a great way to save $1000 a month and to spend more time with our girl. We're getting the hang of this home-parenting thing, slowly but surely. Coloring is an important activity!
Update - yesterday's xray showed that the bones are still in alignment and look fantastic, so we're super-happy that it is going well. Still another appointment next Tuesday, but it's all good! Nellie has a fiberglass cast on now that is much sturdier looking than the plaster wrapped in an ace bandage.....
That's our news.
And yesterday, poor Amadou Cisse was murdered on 61st and Ellis. Yes, 100 feet from our bedroom, as we slept. His crime was coming home late from his Chemistry lab, and he'd just successfully defended his PhD dissertation. What a horrible horrible loss. Of course, the community is shaken and upset, and many students fear for their safety as they walk through the neighborhood. For only the fourth time in our 8 years in the house, we had a special house meeting to talk about things - safety, thoughts, what is happening around the area and what is changing. A hard meeting. (especially because I've lost my voice!)
Well, Thanksgiving will be a good time to be thankful for the things we have and thoughtful about those who have lost so much. I can't wait to spend time in the kitchen making fabulous food - I've already got my recipes lined up!!!
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crash_tacking's journal
